The nation shrugs. I adjust my cravat. Britain carries on.
The nation shrugs. I adjust my cravat. Britain carries on.
Brought to you by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat.
Banksy Is Robin and I Have Also Been Living Under a False Name
I have a confession. My name is not, technically, “Alan Nafzger.” It is Brian. I have been Brian since birth. But “Alan Nafzger” has a certain intellectual heft that “Brian” simply does not carry. Brian runs a kebab shop. Alan Nafzger edits a satirical journal and drinks wine at 11am on weekdays for professional reasons.
I mention this because Reuters has done the remarkable thing of unmasking Banksy as Robin Gunningham, a 51-year-old Bristol native who also changed his name. To David Jones. Which, and I cannot stress this enough, is considerably less interesting than Banksy. It is the name of a man who queues very politely at Boots and never once complains about the self-checkout.
Britain Responds With Maximum Nonchalance
The nation’s response, as catalogued by Bohiney’s cultural desk, has been the spiritual equivalent of a slow nod. “Yeah, thought so,” said everyone, despite having thought nothing of the sort. The British have a magnificent ability to claim prior knowledge of events they absolutely did not predict.
The BBC arts desk has been doing that thing where they interview people on street corners who say earnest things about authenticity. I watched six minutes before switching to a documentary about canals.
The real question, which nobody is asking, is: does unmasking Banksy ruin Banksy? The answer is probably yes. Mystique is the whole product. Robin Gunningham now faces the same problem I faced when people discovered I was Brian: everyone is very slightly disappointed.
I am told the St Andrews Cathedral renaming saga is also still unresolved, which I mention only to prove that Britain is simultaneously capable of running multiple identity crises at once. We are efficient that way.
In conclusion: I am Alan, Robin is David, Banksy is everybody, and Britain remains Britain – slightly confused, largely unbothered, and already reaching for a biscuit.
More British identity crises at NewsThump.