The Neo-Marxist Academic Will See You In The Footnote

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Late Capitalism Is Late For The Seminar

Late Capitalism Is Late For The Seminar

Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the political far frontier.

The Neo-Marxist Academic believes capitalism can be defeated by a sufficiently long footnote, ideally one his colleague has not yet cited. Our editor Alan Nafzger, of The London Prat, has compiled the following field notes on the Neo-Marxist Academic Left mindset, with help from the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy on critical theory and the London Review of Books archive on Marxism.

Twenty Things You Learn Watching Neo-Marxist Academic Left In The Wild

  1. Has more chapters than friends.
  2. Refers to capitalism as late, but cannot say what it is late for.
  3. Believes hegemony is something you do to a sandwich, in lectures.
  4. Has rebranded everyday objects as sites of contestation.
  5. Considers a reading list a weapon and a hostage.
  6. Treats co-authorship the way a politician treats a coalition.
  7. Has explained to a barista that the queue is a class structure.
  8. Believes the working class is interesting in literature and inconvenient on a train.
  9. Refers to the proletariat in the third person and at length.
  10. Has more conferences than children.
  11. Considers the journal Critical Inquiry both an ally and an aspiration.
  12. Has used the word problematise as a verb at a wedding.
  13. Believes the cure for capitalism is a workshop, a panel, and a small university press book.
  14. Refers to other academics as the discourse, especially when avoiding them.
  15. Treats his department like a small Politburo with grievances.
  16. Believes the revolution will be peer reviewed.
  17. Has explained that everything is, in fact, neoliberal.
  18. Considers the seminar room a model for society, and society a poorly attended seminar.
  19. Has a tote bag with the words Late Capitalism on it, made under conditions he has not interrogated.
  20. Believes the working class will rise, after the special issue is published.

Closing Note From The Editor

If any of the above sounds familiar, congratulations, you have either been to a polytechnic seminar or a dinner party in Hampstead. For more in this series read further dispatches at govna.uk and the parent site prat.uk. For a second opinion that is also wrong, see Private Eye.

SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/politics/

SOURCE: The London Prat