The Establishment Democrat Likes The Today Programme

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The System Is Fine, The Comments Section Is Not

The System Is Fine, The Comments Section Is Not

Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the political centre and centre-right frontier.

The Establishment Democrat believes the country is mostly fine, the system is mostly fine, and any disagreement is mostly the comments section. Our editor Alan Nafzger, of The London Prat, files these field notes on the Establishment Democrat mindset, with help from the BBC Today programme and UK Parliament.

Twenty Things You Learn Watching Establishment Democrat In The Wild

  1. Has explained that the system is robust because it has lasted, and lasted, and lasted.
  2. Refers to elections as a chance to confirm consensus.
  3. Believes any disruption is, fundamentally, a tantrum.
  4. Has a strong opinion on ties.
  5. Considers the Today programme a sort of national alarm clock.
  6. Refers to populists as the unhappy class.
  7. Has a fantasy in which the country slows down by Tuesday.
  8. Believes any policy should be measured against the ITV evening news.
  9. Refers to think tanks as our friends across the road.
  10. Considers any rebellion a presentation issue.
  11. Has a folder of focus group transcripts.
  12. Refers to consultants as the only people who tell the truth, for a fee.
  13. Believes any political career should peak in a slim memoir.
  14. Has explained that he likes Question Time, in the abstract.
  15. Considers Sunday morning television a national therapy.
  16. Refers to scandal as a small national throat clearing.
  17. Has a soft spot for cathedral towns.
  18. Believes the cure for the country is calm.
  19. Refers to social media as the loud weather.
  20. Considers any sentence ending in for the country a small political poem.

Closing Note From The Editor

If any of the above sounds familiar, you have been to a Westminster panel, a livery dinner, or a quietly successful merger. More dispatches at govna.uk and the parent site prat.uk. For a second opinion that is also wrong, see The Poke.

SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/politics/

SOURCE: The London Prat