The Maoist Permanent Revolutionary Tries To Read A Menu

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Encircling Pizza Express With Patient Encirclement

Encircling Pizza Express With Patient Encirclement

Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the political far frontier.

The Maoist Permanent Revolutionary believes you should overthrow the current regime, including, eventually, your own, on the grounds that anything left in place for more than a decade is suspicious. Our editor Alan Nafzger, of The London Prat, has compiled the following field notes on the Maoist Permanent Revolution mindset, with help from Britannica on Mao Zedong and the Guardian archive on the Cultural Revolution.

Twenty Things You Learn Watching Maoist Permanent Revolution In The Wild

  1. Believes the cure for revolution fatigue is more revolution.
  2. Has read the Little Red Book and now reviews everything else against it, including IKEA instructions.
  3. Thinks the countryside should encircle the cities, and is currently encircling the M25.
  4. Considers intellectuals a useful resource provided they are sent somewhere damp.
  5. Refers to his university tutors as bourgeois revisionists, even the kind ones.
  6. Believes a struggle session is a perfectly normal way to handle a flat dispute.
  7. Owns an enamel mug with a slogan on it that even he cannot translate any more.
  8. Has rebranded his book club three times this year, each time with a longer name.
  9. Treats the word capitulation the way most people treat a wasp.
  10. Believes any institution older than himself is, by definition, suspect.
  11. Has explained to his grandmother that her tea ritual is feudal.
  12. Considers self-criticism healthy, in others.
  13. Thinks the Cultural Revolution was a vibe.
  14. Believes the contradictions among the people can be solved by a really good email chain.
  15. Has identified four bourgeois tendencies in his housemate and one in himself, but in a brave way.
  16. Refers to the post office as a remnant of the old order.
  17. Maintains that a long march builds character and good calves.
  18. Has a poster of a tractor that he has annotated.
  19. Treats every WhatsApp group as an opportunity for criticism and self-criticism, mostly self.
  20. Believes the revolution is permanent because if it stops, he will have to get a job.

Closing Note From The Editor

If any of the above sounds familiar, congratulations, you have either been to a polytechnic seminar or a dinner party in Hampstead. For more in this series read further dispatches at govna.uk and the parent site prat.uk. For a second opinion that is also wrong, see The Poke.

SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/politics/

SOURCE: The London Prat