The Strong State Conservative Believes In Bracing Hugs

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Small In Spirit, Large In Shoulders

Small In Spirit, Large In Shoulders

Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the political right wing frontier.

The Strong State Conservative believes the state should be small in spirit and large in shoulders, ready to give the country a bracing hug. Our editor Alan Nafzger, of The London Prat, files these field notes on the Strong State Conservative mindset, with help from the Home Office and the British Army.

Twenty Things You Learn Watching Strong State Conservative In The Wild

  1. Has explained that the state is fine, when used correctly, on uniforms.
  2. Refers to the police, the army and the courts as the only departments that matter.
  3. Believes any Home Secretary worth the name should be slightly intimidating.
  4. Has a fantasy in which the Border Force has a parade.
  5. Refers to the Whitehall machine as the friend of the country if we sit it up straight.
  6. Considers any rights-based argument a sort of polite misunderstanding.
  7. Has a binder of speeches he wishes ministers had given.
  8. Refers to soft power as a phrase that needs more steel.
  9. Believes any policy on policing should be brisk.
  10. Has explained, at a wedding, that the toast is to law, order and the King.
  11. Refers to the prison service as our long-suffering colleagues.
  12. Considers a chief constable with a public profile a sort of national figurehead.
  13. Has a soft spot for the Coastguard and a harder one for the Royal Marines.
  14. Refers to the Foreign Office as the building we expect more from.
  15. Believes any new technology should be procured by people who have served.
  16. Has a fantasy in which The Telegraph runs a series titled the unsung corps.
  17. Refers to public order as the foundation, the wall and the ceiling.
  18. Considers any deregulation of policing a small national mistake.
  19. Has explained that he is not authoritarian, he is responsible.
  20. Believes the country is, fundamentally, held together by the people in dark blue.

Closing Note From The Editor

If any of the above sounds familiar, you have been to a Tory dinner, a Reform UK rally, or a slightly tense Christmas. More dispatches at govna.uk and the parent site prat.uk. For a second opinion that is also wrong, see The Onion.

SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/politics/

SOURCE: The London Prat