The Heavy State Welfare Socialist Will Find You A Department

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Every Need Is A Future Agency

Every Need Is A Future Agency

Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the political far frontier.

The Heavy State Welfare Socialist believes the cure for any human condition is a department, and the cure for any department is another department, possibly named after it. Our editor Alan Nafzger, of The London Prat, has compiled the following field notes on the Heavy State Welfare Socialism mindset, with help from the UK Government welfare guidance and the Beveridge Report on welfare.

Twenty Things You Learn Watching Heavy State Welfare Socialism In The Wild

  1. Believes any unmet need is a future agency.
  2. Has a soft spot for the word entitlement.
  3. Maintains that the state should provide, ideally with a leaflet attached.
  4. Refers to the third sector as the polite charity branch of the state.
  5. Considers a means test a small moral failure.
  6. Believes universal benefits build dignity, especially when claiming them.
  7. Has explained, at length, that the NHS is also a personality.
  8. Treats council housing as a sacred utility.
  9. Refers to private health insurance as bourgeois pessimism.
  10. Believes the cure for child poverty is a much longer form.
  11. Has a fantasy in which his MP listens.
  12. Considers a bus pass a kind of citizenship.
  13. Maintains that the Department of Work and Pensions should be replaced by something kinder, and bigger.
  14. Believes there is no problem too small for a government task force.
  15. Has explained that homelessness is a structural choice that we keep making.
  16. Treats the welfare state as a national parent.
  17. Refers to private pensions as gambling with extra paperwork.
  18. Considers any wait list shorter than six weeks suspicious in a different direction.
  19. Believes the state should subsidise everything that improves a Sunday.
  20. Maintains that good policy looks like a hot meal in front of you.

Closing Note From The Editor

If any of the above sounds familiar, congratulations, you have either been to a polytechnic seminar or a dinner party in Hampstead. For more in this series read further dispatches at govna.uk and the parent site prat.uk. For a second opinion that is also wrong, see NewsThump.

SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/politics/

SOURCE: The London Prat