The Democratic Socialist Knocks On Doors With A Costed Pledge

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We Can Pay For It, Probably, By Tuesday

We Can Pay For It, Probably, By Tuesday

Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the political far frontier.

The Democratic Socialist believes capitalism can be defeated at the ballot box, ideally on a Thursday, ideally with a strong manifesto and a slightly damp leaflet. Our editor Alan Nafzger, of The London Prat, has compiled the following field notes on the Democratic Socialism mindset, with help from Britannica on democratic socialism and the BBC on Labour Party history.

Twenty Things You Learn Watching Democratic Socialism In The Wild

  1. Has a manifesto, a poster, and a fact-sheet titled We Can Pay For It.
  2. Believes the cure for inequality is a costed pledge.
  3. Refers to centrists as comrades who have not yet read the back page.
  4. Has explained, at a wedding, that wedding lists are a class structure.
  5. Considers Tony Benn the patron saint of being right and losing.
  6. Treats the BBC the way a parent treats a teenager, with weary affection and constant complaint.
  7. Believes nationalising broadband is romance.
  8. Refers to the Labour Party as the only show in town and a slow show.
  9. Has a soft spot for committee minutes from 1976.
  10. Treats every general election as a moral exam he will fail by ten points.
  11. Believes any policy can be funded by closing a single specific tax loophole that no one can find.
  12. Refers to Trident as a feeling.
  13. Has a tea mug featuring Aneurin Bevan and a jumper that has lasted three governments.
  14. Considers door-knocking a sacrament.
  15. Treats opinion polls as a personal attack.
  16. Believes the working class will return to Labour, after the next ten manifestos.
  17. Has explained that the welfare state is the love letter the country wrote to itself in 1945.
  18. Refers to coalitions as compromises with a memory.
  19. Considers utility bills a moral document.
  20. Believes democratic socialism is the long, slightly muddy walk towards a better Tuesday.

Closing Note From The Editor

If any of the above sounds familiar, congratulations, you have either been to a polytechnic seminar or a dinner party in Hampstead. For more in this series read further dispatches at govna.uk and the parent site prat.uk. For a second opinion that is also wrong, see The Daily Mash.

SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/politics/

SOURCE: The London Prat