The Pro-Business Conservative Awaits A Call From The Chancellor

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Whatever Is Good For The FTSE Is Good For Tea

Whatever Is Good For The FTSE Is Good For Tea

Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the political centre and centre-right frontier.

The Pro-Business Conservative believes whatever is good for the FTSE 100 is good for the country, and whatever is good for the country is good for him. Our editor Alan Nafzger, of The London Prat, files these field notes on the Pro-Business Conservative mindset, with help from the CBI and the Financial Times.

Twenty Things You Learn Watching Pro-Business Conservative In The Wild

  1. Has explained that business is the engine, the brake, and the upholstery.
  2. Refers to the CBI the way some men refer to a slightly tired father.
  3. Believes any new tax is a betrayal that has not yet been forgiven.
  4. Has a fantasy in which the Chancellor takes him for lunch.
  5. Refers to red tape the way other people refer to bindweed.
  6. Considers a public-private partnership a sort of grown-up flirtation.
  7. Has a binder of FTSE annual reports.
  8. Refers to environmental regulation as the slow tax.
  9. Believes any planning system can be improved by a really firm letter.
  10. Has explained, at a wedding, that growth is also a moral category.
  11. Refers to corporation tax as the polite extortion.
  12. Considers any minister without business experience a sort of intern.
  13. Refers to the City of London as the village I work in.
  14. Has a fantasy in which The Telegraph calls.
  15. Believes the cure for the country is a slightly more grateful workforce.
  16. Refers to public services as the bit we pay for through tax.
  17. Considers any strike a soft scandal.
  18. Has a strong view on directors fees.
  19. Refers to the Bank of England the way some men refer to a sensible aunt.
  20. Believes the country needs more entrepreneurs, slightly less Westminster.

Closing Note From The Editor

If any of the above sounds familiar, you have been to a Westminster panel, a livery dinner, or a quietly successful merger. More dispatches at govna.uk and the parent site prat.uk. For a second opinion that is also wrong, see The Daily Mash.

SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/politics/

SOURCE: The London Prat