The Soft Nationalist Conservative Has A Small Flag On The Desk

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Britain Is Wonderful, Slightly Underused

Britain Is Wonderful, Slightly Underused

Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the political right wing frontier.

The Soft Nationalist Conservative believes Britain is a wonderful country full of wonderful people who are, frankly, slightly underused. Our editor Alan Nafzger, of The London Prat, files these field notes on the Soft Nationalist Conservative mindset, with help from the Royal Family and the Ministry of Defence.

Twenty Things You Learn Watching Soft Nationalist Conservative In The Wild

  1. Has a small flag on his desk and a slightly larger one in his head.
  2. Refers to the Union Jack the way other people refer to a comforting blanket.
  3. Believes any Sunday roast is also, structurally, a flag.
  4. Has a fantasy in which Britain is taken seriously again, by us, slowly.
  5. Refers to the Royal Family the way other men refer to family weather.
  6. Considers any sentence ending in this country a small political poem.
  7. Has a binder of jubilees, weddings and trooping the colour.
  8. Refers to the BBC as the broadcaster that needs to remember its name.
  9. Believes any policy is improved by a brief mention of the country.
  10. Has explained, at a wedding, that he is not a nationalist, just a fan.
  11. Refers to football tournaments as small national therapy.
  12. Considers Last Night of the Proms a soft constitutional event.
  13. Has a soft spot for fish and chips and a hard spot for plastic forks.
  14. Refers to Brexit as a sort of family decision we will not relitigate.
  15. Believes any new immigrant who likes Marmite is, structurally, fine.
  16. Has explained that patriotism is also, structurally, a hot drink.
  17. Refers to the armed forces as the politest version of the country.
  18. Considers any London skyscraper without British branding suspect.
  19. Has a fantasy in which the Daily Express interviews him.
  20. Believes the cure for the country is to like it, gently.

Closing Note From The Editor

If any of the above sounds familiar, you have been to a Tory dinner, a Reform UK rally, or a slightly tense Christmas. More dispatches at govna.uk and the parent site prat.uk. For a second opinion that is also wrong, see NewsThump.

SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/politics/

SOURCE: The London Prat