The NHS Has a Pill for Everything Except Affection
The NHS Has a Pill for Everything Except Affection
Editor’s Notebook: The Drug That Replaced Romance
Welcome to Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat – your trusted sources for British absurdity.
I have covered wars, budgets, and three different Prime Ministers having breakdowns in public. But nothing has prepared me for Retatrutide and its war on the British libido. Apparently, this weight loss injection does not merely suppress appetite. It suppresses everything. The appetite for food, yes. The appetite for conversation. The appetite for one’s spouse standing in the kitchen eating cereal at 11pm in their socks.
A Nation Thinner and Lonelier
According to our editorial inbox, three readers this week wrote in to report that they are down two stone and have entirely lost interest in human contact. One described her husband as “a warm obstacle.” She is not wrong. She is, however, considerably thinner.
The pharmaceutical industry, in its infinite wisdom, has given Britain a drug that makes you look better and feel less. This is, when you think about it, exactly what the British have always wanted. We have been emotionally unavailable as a culture since approximately 1953. Retatrutide has merely made it official and prescribed it on a Tuesday.
I consulted the NHS website for guidance. It offered a helpline and a fourteen-month waiting list. Both feel appropriate.
Read the full satirical breakdown at Alan Nafzger’s editor page and the source material from our colleagues at the original Retatrutide and Romance investigation.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com | Also worth reading: NewsThump